The “n” word.

My class was dissecting the discourse of “violence” in regards to the recent and infamous serial murders of black people by law enforcement. The police alibis were silly. It all described how the police saw the victims as “aggressive” and were scared for their lives, despite having advantage in weaponry and numbers. I’m pretty sure in the Michael Brown case the officer mentioned that he felt like a kid in front of a bear. Bruh. Dear God, please save me from collapsing at the thought of how bitch-made that dude is. On the other hand, according to video footage, most agree the police were extraordinarily tactical. On the real though, it reminds me of how you would jump people in the neighborhood. You catch em lacking, then the squad jump in. And it is justifiable when the victim becomes viewed as the aggressor. 

The day prior, I watched a documentary on NeoNazis, the “White-only Socialist Party.” This individual was being interviewed; he spoke of the power of the swastika and the word “nigger” as a means of inciting violence in black people. Deadass,these dudes are strange. They get their kids to gleefully cheer hatred. Furthermore, it seemed law enforcement and the military were traditional “right of passages” for these folk. 

Making this connection between “violence” and the documentary, I shared it with the class. As I attempted to regurgitate my thoughts into coherent sounds I said, “niggers and Jews.” That’s when hell broke lose. I got cut off, roasted, reprimanded, and all types of loving. It has been three weeks, but I still get the stink eye. LOL. We had a discussion on the word and I noted some views on its usage. One stood out to me, my own question.

1. Does the context of usage of the n-word matter? And if it does, are non-blacks allowed to use it, even in an academic context?

The girl who roasted me was against its usage, regardless of context. However, when sharing my story with other people they always asked, “In what context did you say it in?” And for you skeptical motherfuckers—yes, I did inquire black folk, and every other color of people I knew.

So I ask, does context matter?


Yeah, I am…

weird. I can recall times when my friends said, “I don’t know you,” or gave me the look because I did/said something embarrassing in public. Initially, I took it as a signal to chill, but Im beginning to become annoyed. Surely, they’re annoyed too. In my last escapade, I was in a near capacity elevator with a friend. We end up on opposite sides of the vator and call to him, “Hey, bruh.” He replies, “Don’t say/ask me something stupid.” I ask him about a class we share, and eventually we reach the light rail. I thought of nothing about it, but his comment struck a cord. It wasn’t he first time he had said that, or albeit anyone. Three days later, on this glamorous Sunday morning, I’m thinking— why am I friends we these lame ass people. They probably suffer from their own insecurities, making it difficult to deal with my overwhelming presence in public. Deadass. Or perhaps I am too weird. Then again, WTF is weird. The word looks and sounds lame. While playing Divinity Orginal Sins: Enhanced Edition, I learned the word zany; a synonym for weird. ZANY. ZANY. ZANY. I cannot accuraetly explain why, but zany is a cool word. Perhaps it’s the initial “z” sound with the “y” at the end. Like, xannies! Real friends, huh?

I’m aware its past midnight,..

but still need to do a May 18, 2017 reflection. I arrive 15 minutes late to my morning class. Someone occupied by usual seat. I walk towards the nearest open seat and notice this girl. I was like zaammmhm. Her hair is a lavender color, and it matched her pink studded slip-ons. I got light headed. The professor spield on about stress its impacts in the body. Essentially, stress is a phenomenon of intense shittiness and manifestation into a zombie brought by near absolute procrastination. I say, procrastination is a behavior of bio-tweaking that allows for rapid response of STAMINA! stamina—with consequences.

My music has been lacking lately, but today I downloaded spotify and received a 7 day trial. I was lit. I got Yeezus, Cudi, Kendrick, ASAP, La Flame, Kodak, Playboi Carti, Lil Uzi, MIGOS, Thug, Drake, Future and A Boogie for now. Uzi and Carti are lit. I’m cool off Yachty.

Also, I started my HCA training today. My understanding of disabilities grew. This experience would be beneficial if I really want to be a health professional. Learning to work with an individual and encourage their well-being sounds like a spiritual task. You’ll definitely need more than technical skills.

Lifestyle change..?

I have been thinking about positive lifestyle changes, I have a lot in mind, but perhaps I can begin with my health. Diet is a critical one. With diet, I would eat more home cooked meals. If I eat out, it would be ever so often, a simple snack like fruits, or vagina vacation. From here, I reduce sugars and meat, supplementing with a handful of veggies. Following the golden mean to indulge in moderation, means to indulge in everything. To diversify my meals! It hurts to see people eat a strict regiment of rice, chicken, and broccoli when mother nature has gifted us with a plethora of foods. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, water as the one and only true drink! Sometimes.

My latest foodie mission was discovering Ethiopian food. I had a platter of injera with a variety of sides including lamb, spinach, and a lot of stuff I forgot. The taste is distinct, yet enticing. I actually have a picture! This is at Cafe Ibex in Seattle. I would definitely make another visit. Somali cuisine is next!

On this weeks reflection…

for my African-American Studies class, #BLM in media and politics,

After our Tuesday discussion, still pondering on color-blindness and black-on-black crime, I was perplexed by the attentions to race. Color-blindness suggest the notion: we live in a homogeneous society, where, “you judge someone— not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Individual believers suggest they disregard race when engaging with people of color. An example is the segment of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, starring Tomi Lahren, Lahren said, “I’ve never looked down on someone because of their skin color.” Linking the greatest golf player Tiger Woods, not to his African and Asian descent, but to his persistence and passion, is another example. This facade is dangerous to how it portrays social injustice in history, politics, and economics.

And, there is black-on-black crime, a notion that more black people die at the hands of black individuals, than from police. Saying, it is a prevalent issue among black communities, cultures, and essentially black society. Opponents of #BLM use this to downplay the significance of police brutality, and shift our attention towards black-on-black crime. To comprehend this concept, you must understand race—what is BLACK? Elizabeth addressed on this topic in class. We have this mental encyclopedia of blackness. Attention to race is made. This is the fallacy I noticed between color-blindness and black-on-black crime. One concept takes heed to disregard racial stereotypes, while the other makes use of racial stereotypes. “Colorblindness” and “black on black” crime is gibberish, to say the least.

Hello, my name is…

Len. I am rewatching the Dragon Ball series right now. Others I am watching right now are, One Piece and Boku no Academia. Attack on Titans is on que, awaiting to be binged. I go to the University of Washington and plan to major in psychology. Psychology is a chill subject. I imagine my psychology career to be a chill one. That is just the icing on the cake. My master plan is to become an economic hitman and finesse the government! And after achieving global sovereignty, I will retire on a farm and become a teacher. Maybe I’ll open a Southeast Asian restaurant too. Smoking weed is another one of my hobbies. Yoga, running, lifting, and healthy food are good for the body! AND so is music. This new Calvin Harris joint with Frank Ocean and MIGOS is waaavy. Uhm. I am reading two books currently, Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis and The best punctuation book, period. by June Casagrande. Time to study, peace.